Fri, 16 Sep 2005 02:45:51 GMT

My Own Sweet Time (1/?)

Part of the reason, well the only reason I got married was to make him jealous.

We didn't see it at first, what was between us . There was always this secret competition between he and I . That's how it started . I couldn't tell you when I realized I was in love with him . I'm not even sure I can give an exact reason as to why, because well there really isn't just one reason . It's everything, and once he started dating her that's when I realized we had something .

We loved each other more than we should, there were always hidden gestures, or glances we shared, for no real reason at all . Sometimes we'd sit across the table from each other and stare at one another for hours . I think he started those .

One day I caught him looking at me so intensely that it scared me , and when he didn't even move when I was trying to get him to stop it just scared me more, so I just stared back, thinking of dozens of reasons as to why he'd just stare at me like that, or just to see how long it would be before he realized what he was doing and stop .

I found as he got older and more grown up I enjoyed staring at him as well . He still hasn't explained why he does it, but then again, I've never really asked . The way he acted was always hard to understand .

The competitions in the end were just silly games that only we could share .

My marriage I'm sad to say was a part of that . And even though I love them to death I would have never had children , or a family if it hadn't been for the unexplainable need, and desire to make Zac jealous .

To get his attention . All I ever wanted was attention . But end the end I learned that was more than I had ever bargained for.

My Own Sweet Time

Fri, 09 Sep 2005 08:45:33 GMT

It was inevitable, what happened. A life changing tragedy really .
He was with her when it truly began . Though now that I think back, it was always there . Something was always there, even if it went unknown to us . I couldn't tell you how it started . This story isn't about how it started . No, this story is how it began .

The original version, our version, was written in secret . Something we vowed never to tell, a special song just for us . Of how we came to be .

I warn you, before I tell you anything more . This story is dedicated to my first love . My only love . And now my loves I give to thee, our story .

My Own Sweet Time

Somebody break my fall I'm slippin' down all over again

My Own Sweet Time